Mary had a little lamb

Mary had a little lamb,

Mary is an organic farmer, employing sustainable animal husbandry

It's fleece was white as snow,

Which clashes with Mary's progressive racial ideals, but hey, black lambs are quite rare

Everywhere that Mary went,

In her Farmyard Edition Prius

The lamb was sure to go.

Because if she needs to go somewhere, who is to say the lamb doesn't want to go too?

It followed her to school one day,

A small liberal-arts college in Vermont

Which was against the rules,

Thereby giving rise to a student sit-in for Lamb Rights

It made the children laugh and play,

Especially the campus Republicans

To see that lamb at school.

Knowing the only way the woolly thing was there was because of Affirmative Livestock Action Quotas

And so the teacher turned it out,

For consistently bleating "fascist" in class

But still it lingered near,

Not surprising considering the nice juicy grass in the quadrangle

And waited patiently about,

Loafing until Spring Break, like all freshmen

'Til Mary did appear.

From a meeting of her Feminist Collective

"Why does the lamb love Mary so?"

Obviously, because Mary is a vegan

The eager children cry,

Inquiring minds, those kids

"Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know"

To show us all how evolved she is

The teacher did reply.

He was a Prius-driving, lacto-ovo vegetarian, progressive, affirmative action-believing liberal too.

Mary graduated top of her year, and all I want is a roast lamb dinner.



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