Save me I'm single!
It would all be so much easier if:
~ we didn't need sex to reproduce
~ the urge to reproduce weren't as strong
~ we weren't as fascinated by the other sex
~ we weren't as fascinated by sex
~ we didn't think about relationships so much
~ we didn't think so much
We shall never solve all the problems of meeting the right person and sustaining a relationship with them. Humans are an imperfect animal, prone to changes of direction, and our relationship architecture reflects that. The search for fairy tale endings and happy ever after is, to me, a deliberate misread of you and us. Reality will find a way to disappoint you if it's perfection you seek.
Technology is wonderful, its benefits clear. In this particular field, I have my doubts. Two cases in particular encourage delusional thinking.
Exhibit A: Online dating. Argh! I know, people find each other every day via this medium. For every successful couple (relationship longevity unknown) there are thousands of men and women whose view of possible partners is skewed by having them presented as another shopping option. It's one giant People Mall out there, the very idea of which gives me the creeps.
Exhibit B: Reproduction outside the body aka: in vitro fertilization. What an example of amazing science and bioengineering. Unfortunately, it is a powerful option with uses for both good and not so good. For couples unable to become pregnant naturally, it is the most wonderful gift. For many other applications, I am dubious. More than anything, I worry that we see IVF as a justification for delaying child-bearing even longer than we do already. This is a subtle influence, allowing folks who might otherwise settle to have families of their own a few more years of self-indulgence.
In a way, we're the (single) victims of our inventiveness.
Being Single Part 1, Being Single Part 3, Being Single Part 4.
8 comments:
In a way, we're the (single) victims of our inventiveness definitely. Actually, I'm fairly sure that the development of consciousness in general is an evolutionary disadvantage...
Anyway... I agree with you about - well both of those things actually - but I was going to say dating websites. People mall is right and that's very scary. When you meet someone in real life, you are attracted to them for whatever reason and the qualities that you may not be so attracted to (and which balance the person out and make them who they are) don't seem important. When you're shopping for someone online as it were, you are looking for someone who has as many qualities you find attractive as you can. You are looking for something perfect. You can only be disappointed. Especially since they probably don't mention their negative qualities.
Hi Jenny. The People Mall leaves me cold for the reason you say - no-one has any faults. I like faults, or rather imperfections. If we're climbing a rock wall, cracks and fissures allow us to climb without artificial support. Ditto relationships. Perfection's boring and unrealistic.
Give me real life every time.
You're back here, too! I have a lot of reading to do to catch up.
But what about love Wombi?
Is it really so much that technology is making us poor singletons victims - or could it be the supermarket level choices that we now have? Years ago, choices in mates was relatively constricted to geography, age, and societal mores of the time.
Geography is no longer an issue, as we are a very mobile lot (ie a certain wombat living amongst the geriatrics and the super cougars)
Age was a factor particularly in smaller areas, as an unmarried young woman of 21 was dismissed as a spinster - and looked on quite strangely.
Fewer divorcees -the more experienced partners were looked down upon, starter marriages not so much in vogue. Inter-racial relationships, as well as the older woman/younger man dynamic add even more choices for the shelf.
I agree with you that the search for a fairy tail... oops tale ending is a fallacy, however suggest it may be more of an inability to choose given the mistaken belief in the apparent never ending supermarket varieties to be taste tested.
btw - I'm fairly skeeved out re internet dating as well....however it does resolve the IQ question fairly quickly.
loving the Bettie Pagesque pic
Hi there Nitebyrd! How sweet to see you in these here parts. Looking forward to catching up with you too.
Love, Enigma? What's love got to do with it?
*laughing at the stoopid song joke*
Yeah, I'll have to write something about love and singlehood. Wish I could figger it out meself.
Provocatuer, I'm still thinking about your 'supermarket' analogy. It's compelling. Coming to the US from Oz, one of the first things one falls in love with is the (regular, non-dating) supermarket, what with 2,677 types of breakfast cereal et al. That's wonderful. Then it becomes overwhelming. It's the Choice Paralysis, the kind of inaction I think you're hinting at.
Or, more accurately, you can take home all of those cereals, and next week there will be 3,455 NEW choices.
Yeah, I'm certain we're not wired for that.
Fairy tales are for fairies and children at bedtime. Not adults.
The pics are my small indulgence.
Okay, huge indulgence.
The fact that human are imperfect, we should be the one who knows how to understand why the couldn't be perfect relationship and perfect person for us. Perfect partner comes next to Right partner and right partner comes after you understand the person and know that person better. There's always a place for love.
That's profound, Asian Dating Sites. Have you considered starting an Asian Dating Site?
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