What is romance?
DocAnnie's description of romance is the best:
For me, it's mainly about making otherwise ordinary moments together feel as though no one else in the world exists except the two of you.
That captures it.
Cool. But there is still the question of whether romance just happens or if it can be manufactured. Ideally, romantic moments would pop into our lives like...umm...black holes in the universe. Okay, like unexpected bills in the mail. Alright, like winning lottery numbers. That's better. Winning lottery numbers.
If the media are our guide, our chances of romance are improved if there's a little forethought. For instance, to have a tender experience, first book a restaurant, get dressed, order wine and...you know, romance happens. Gondola rides are super-romantic, so get yourselves to Venice, hire a gondola and - bing! - romance.
Yeah, it sounds kinda cheesy to me.
My point is that there are two kinds of romantic moments; the spontaneous and the pre-prepared. The everyday moments of special connectedness must spring from a base of affection, but are otherwise random. It's like finding a wild tomato on your walk to work. They're special because they're natural and surprising.
Manufactured romantic moments are like hothouse tomatoes. We expect that they'll be available, and they will be of a certain quality. They won't taste the same as wild or home-grown tomatoes, and anticipation slightly dampens their impact. But they're tomatoes nonetheless.
Here's how advertisers see romance.
Romance Part 1, Romance Part 2, Romance Part 3.
8 comments:
Oh, but filmic romance wins me over every time. Even if it is in a nokia ad. It's not that I don't know that it's ridiculous; I just can't resist it!
I love the tomato analogy by the way. True romance is a wild tomato. I like that.
Ah ha.
I see two connections between romance and your last topic, foreplay.
ONE
In both areas, what's 'manufactured' hothouse tomato to one person won't necessarily seem like that to another.
That's why romance and foreplay more often than not come down to happily, lovingly doing that which you know will delight your partner.
Whether it involves forethought and planning - or not.
I know a woman whose ex used to put little love notes in her lunch each day for her to find at work. She saw it coming, it never failed to delight her, and he took pleasure in doing it for her.
Finding love notes in my lunch every day, however, would ultimately irritate the hell out of me.
She says steamy hothouse tomato; I say rotten tomato.
TWO
A stereotype about romance and foreplay is that they're mainly for the woman.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding your position, Wombat, but you seem to agree.
I disagree.
But I can see how popular narrow definitions of both have created this gender divide - and plenty of cynicism to go around.
Doc Annie, do you still blog? I miss you!
True romance is a wild tomato.
Hey, that is kinda neat, Jenny. Fresh wild tomato with salt and pepper.
Nice.
Doc, you're right, there is a connection! I am trying to link each weekly topic, but I have to admit, I use the wonderful commenters' ideas as a guide as to where to head next.
My thing about romance is that it can take many forms. We (that amorphous we) seem to have connected it with sex, which is definitely one interpretation. But there are others, in my opinion.
I might have to return at a later date to explore this.
Tiff, I think DocAnnie has left the blog world. I hope she'll answer for herself.
Hi Tiffanie!
How's life been treating you, honey?
I'm not blogging now - thanks for asking - but I do have plans for a comeback with a new domain name.
I agree with Annie, I think. Something can be meticulously planned to appear spontaneous, and can be all the more delightful and romantic for it. Romance depends on doing things that are personal to the other - something that is special to her or him in particular, and no-one other. There's nothing more sweet or romantic, I think, than a highly personal gesture.
Hi CoatMan, welcome to K&B.
The good Doc's a smart one, I tell you. And you're clearly not a slouch in the romance dept either.
Greetings to you, CoatMan!
We (at least) agree on this: a romantic gesture, at its best, is thoughtfully tailored to the person.
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