Dinner on the Table
A man of my acquaintance turned near bankruptcy into near billions. He works all the time. He calls his wife all the time, tells her he loves her all the time. There's not a second of the day she doesn't know where he is and what he's doing.
She receives Aston Martins on Valentine's Day. She takes summers in Bermuda. She writes cheques (big cheques) to any dopey political or social cause she wants.
But what she never does is have a hot meal waiting for her husband when he gets home after an eighteen hour day.
He orders in pizza. Or he stops for KFC. Or he just goes without.
The man licks her arse and grills her cheese, but she can't so much as fry him an egg. But I'm the only one unhappy about it.
Fried eggs and bacon from here [link]
16 comments:
mayhaps her cooking is that bad. Perhaps he has the taste buds of a fratboy and only cares for fast food.
Either way Wombie, what in this situation really bugs you? Is it that this captain of industry, is the king of all he surveys, and still, at least in appearance, does not rule his woman?
If he's happy and she's happy, I bet there is some trade off that is not as visible as the phone calls, and check writing.
Awww, c'mon Miss P. You're gonna have to make it worth my while to tell you.
You can do it.
I bet she gives a good blow job.
There, I said what we were all thinking. Mystery solved ;)
30ty's comment made me laugh out loud. But that's not what everyone was thinking. I was thinking:
Did someone say he licks her arse?? Give him my number, Wombat. I'll cook for him ;-)
I understand. I get way too emotional about the situations my friends are in, as well. And I am old fashioned in the sense that it's nice for a wife to cook dinner for her husband, even if it's not all the time. Everyone tolerates different things, I guess.
I tend to lean towards "Lifebegins' theory. That's the only explanation I can think of...
Hmm.
Wombat, I have to seriously question the sanity of your acquaintance. He orders pizza? He stops for KFC? A guy who earns near billions?
Seriously, a dude like that should just hire a permanent personal chef/nutrionist. Problem solved.
KFC? Hormone-injected caged chickens that have been fed Big Agro corn their entire lives? Moral arguments aside, that's just gross and wrong from a nutritional standpoint. He's going to weigh 300 lbs from overeating as his body struggles to get what it's missing, if he doesn't already!
That aside, it seems that you're more interested in the power dynamic between them. "He gives her everything and she does nothing in return" is what you're saying, amirite?
Wombie, it makes me sad too. =(
Or maybe he sees her as his alter ego and that satisfies him? Or maybe she is just damn good in blow jobs and sticking fingers in his arse, which he might absolutely adore :-)
another case of unbalanced partnership. good goes with bad leaving other good stranded with nothing but more bad.
I have to agree, if he has the money, why not just hire a house help? one that will cook? (doesn't have to be a female)
I can see why this would irk, but why does it irk you? because you would provide the hot meal, but no one at the other end doing the same to give that hot meal to?
Doc30ty, I see you're in reductionist mode. Fair call though, and probably not too far from the truth.
Snaf, it's pretty much as you say. I know for sure he'd prefer to have her cook, but in lieu of that, hey, a BJ goes a long way to alleviating an appetite.
AFANM, would it help the story if I told you that the wife is a near-trophy? She's slightly too old, and not sufficiently glamorous, but close enough.
Ah, Martian, the thing about the money is that it's pretty much all tied up in his business. So he's worth a ton, but doesn't necessarily have it in his chequing account.
Having said that though, you're quite right about his eating habits. They are bad, but he's the complete meat and potatoes guy. Despite the simple taste, he's picky, and will go days without if the tucker's not to his liking.
I asked him once, after he'd returned from Hong Kong, if he'd tried some of the amazing food available there. He looked at me and said that the hotel room service burger wasn't bad.
So with all that in mind, he's a weird combination of wealthy, humble, non-curious, low-key, fussy, indecisive and hillbilly. And as obvious as it seems to you and me, the absolute last thing he'd do is employ someone to cook. He'd rather go to the supermarket and buy a box of oatmeal cookies.
Yes. You are right. How hard would it be to have a few steaks in the fridge and a baked potato in the oven?
Girl, you're a softie like me. :-)
BbG, anything is possible. Adoration of one's wife's fingers up one's arse isn't what I'd imagined, but, hey, whatever she's doing, it's keeping her out of the kitchen.
Or maybe not.
Right, Middle C. I put myself in the position of having a loving and super-busy wife. When she came home, I'd want to look after her, with whatever she liked. If that's food or fingers up her arse, that's good for me.
Ah, I understand now, Wombat.
On the one hand, I do see your point: if she gave a rat's ass about him, you'd think that she could at least pre-order his KFC for him.
But on the other hand, it doesn't seem like they have much of a relationship, so perhaps she just doesn't really care. It's all about actions, right? Words and phone calls don't make up for the truly sensual experience of being a partner and being there. And money+objects are what they are, but they don't come close to sufficing. How much of a companion is he after an eighteen-hour workday, anyway? It sounds like they're both getting exactly what they want: he gets away from her, and she gets to spend his money.
Sometimes I think we all just need to cancel our cell phone plans and slow down.
Yep, you've got the entire picture now Martian.
Interestingly, he self-describes as a Type A personality, but it's not as simple as that. The drive to work SO much speaks to something else. But he will fly away in the morning, and fly back in the evening so that he spends as much time as he can with the wife.
Anyone else would spend way more nights away.
In the end, I think you're right. They're both getting most of what they want.
Re: cellphones and speed. Absolutely. He needs a bit of Ferris Bueller in him. And I need a bit less.
That is just not right. I want a man like that.
Funny, Nitebyrd, I kinda feel he deserves someone who thinks more about him than she does.
That's the point I guess, we'll never know how the marriage works, for either of them.
If they split up, I'll let him know about you.
My grandparents ran a mom and pop chicken place in small town Mississippi. Frying chicken is not that difficult to master. Rednecks over the centuries have created an art form over it.
That bitch is crazy. She better get in where she fit in cos being the slightly too old former trophy ex wife is not the commodity it once was.
And my acquaintance would LOVE him some fried chicken, LR.
OMG, you're so right. It's just not that hard. And it's kinda true what you say about her outliving her TW status. When we picked up the KFC recently, his point was to take it home to her to show him what he had for dinner.
*three piece original, mashed potatoes, extra gravy please*
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