Ejaculate: You'll Make Her Happy
Reading Snaf's and KayDee's blogs recently has been a little like being backstage watching the audience reaction to a new Broadway production. The show - a musical, methinks, called Let the Spunk Fly - is a physical show, full of nudity and grunts that has a climax with a twist: there is no climax.
All of us backstage are men, in on the plot twist. And those in the audience are all women, who have no idea what's about to happen.
The real trick of the show is that the women leave thinking that something's happened, when in fact nothing has.
Okay, okay, enough of the smart-arse metaphors.
It looks like lots of chicks are surprised that they're not the only ones providing artificial orgasms. My reaction is everyman's - Huh? You mean I fooled you the way you fooled me?
Frankly, I really don't care that much. Sometimes I won't want to express my reproductive fluids, but it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. There's always next time. And we got to spend naked or semi-naked fun time together, right?
My question of women is: What else don't you know about your men?
Bottoms Up, Fuckers!
15 comments:
its not funny wombat :( i'm already tearing my hair out trying to figure out the men (ok, right now its basically this one particular man) in my life when out of nowhere this shocker adds on to an already tall list. i'll have to bring forward my next therapy session.
My question of women is: What else don't you know about your men?
Is that like "everyone who isn't in attendance today, please raise your hand?"
Sorry to hear that, LMA.
Can we help? Give us the list and let's put our collective understanding to work.
If you like, why not email me and I'll lead off with some pertinent posts and hope to attract some helpful comments.
kissnblog@gmail.com
Ha, yes, quite, Martian.
Deliciously deliberate.
You wanna know what else we don't know about our men?? Huh? You really wanna know?
We don't know that our men are anti-Aquarian, Virgo-loving Taureans, until they write some BLOG post about it. That's what we don't know.
*sigh* *grunt* *huff*
OINK
You just can't win tonight, can you, Wombat. I feel like I should buy you a beer.
I refuse to fake one, and I expect all men in my life to do (or not do?) the same. We can either take a break and try again later. Or you can Jack me off and leave. The choice is yours. Thank you and good night ;)
So do you know any single Virgos, Snaf?
OINK
May I have one of those Tricerahops please Martian? Thanks mate!
Bottoms Up!
*hic*
I'm aroused by your comment, Doc30ty. You know how I love clarity :-)
i said to Snaf just last night, "well, looks like we set the world on fire with that whole faking orgasm bit!"
*KayDee flushes matches down the toilet*
fan those flames Wombat, haha!
That is hilarious. I wonder how often men do fake it? I somehow think it is not as often as women, but I could be wrong. I have never faked it. What would be the point? It is a well-known fact that the more a person fakes orgasm, the less desire they will have for sex. So again, what is the point?
You're a good sport KayDee, and I think we're actually on the same side here.
Orgasms, like ovaries and onanism need a better airing in public arenas to stop the mere lip service they're given now.
* strikes match *
Need a light?
BlueBabe, I believe that men fake it 7% of the time.
* kidding *
But I completely agree about faking. I'm starting a campaign, right here, and right now, to eradicate the fake.
Break the Fake!
Here's one for you, Wombie, while pleasuring a lady one fine evening (our 2nd date), I bring here to the gates of heaven. I could tell this one was going to be one of those really strong releases...or so I thought. Just as it starts, she cuts it off like golden glove 2nd baseman making a twisting stab at a rocket line drive that could possibly remain on a flat line all the way to the fench. At the batter (me) I'm gloriously sprinting to first base hearing the crowd roar at my wondrous achievement only to stop dread in my tracks as I see the true result of my efforts.
I can only look her in the eye and ask why? Here response? "you haven't earned it yet.".
My response? "wha..."
There wasn't a third date. Faking an O is possibly acceptable for the right reasons. Withholding the O is an entirely different matter.
Sorry Wombie, being turned on is against the rules of blogging friendship. I think it might be on the small print on page 13 somewhere ;)
But I will gladly sign this petition! I think this phenomenon may be contributing to misunderstandings and wars. Or at least the on-going translational problems btwn men and women. Here's to world peace!
I needed the weekend to contemplate your story of O-denial, Mr Nights.
And I still can't come up with a reply.
Evil. That's the only thing I can think of. She was evil.
Sorry, Doc30ty, I forgot that part of the Bloggers' Almanac. Please accept my arms-length apologies.
Yes, we need to keep noodling (not kanoodling) about with those misunderstandings.
the list is in my head wombat, but i shall make an attempt to write it out and mail it to you :)
Sweet. Thanks LMA, I look forward to reading it.
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