Selling Yourself.
Similarities between successful selling and successful dating include being proud of the product you're selling. Dating is partially about selling yourself, if only in a passive way. It's about attracting people too - being sold to - so all we daters are partly customers and partly salespeople.
Some folks are quite aggressive with their salesmanship. Whether that means they have greater faith in themselves as a product than someone with a gentler style isn't clear to me. A case could be made for the in-your-face dater as someone with less faith in their ability to attract the special one, or it might just be too much booze.
Pick-Up Artists fall into the over-selling category. The Game is full of characters who push themselves beyond their usual boundaries to attract women. They're studies in overcoming natural disbelief in themselves by overcompensating in the chase. Such effort is exhausting. It stands to reason that the PUA world is full of burned-out cases, with the notable exception of those who make money teaching their particular sales pitch to others.
The other kind of dater is the one who relies less on sales and more on attraction. Traditionally women comprise the largest portion of this category, but that's changing. My most recent successes in the dating department have come because the woman chose me; she pitched me with herself, and gave me the choice. The transaction is more subtle than I'm expressing it here, but the energy direction is accurate.
Bottoms Up, Product Marketers!
Pic from Pining for Nordstrom [link]
Edited for the usual poor quality expression.
11 comments:
"The PUA world is full of burned-out cases"
Ah, but that Mystery and his fuzzy hat could neg me any day of the week. He'll have to come up with a new opener, though, as I already know the C shaped or U shaped teeth one ;)
Will we be reading about your new lady, Wombat?
Ah, the PUAs' marketing ploys. Sketchiness for sale! Blech. Attraction is much more, well, attractive (profound statement there, I know).
The Game is full of comic book characters. The canned lines and routines are old-school or crutches (though sometimes I pull them out because they're hilarious). You're right about overcompensating though, especially regarding Mystery and guys and girls who come into the dating world with a low self-esteem (read: most of them). Once you're comfortable speaking to people, it's about finding the right person and having the experience and knowledge to connect.
@snafu I never understood that one :'( I find the "who lies more, guys or girls" one completely hilarious though but I don't know why.. I can't keep a straight face whenever I pull it out and end up telling the girls that it's from The Game. I then ask if they suddenly had the urge to hook up with me upon asking it.
SELL SELL SELL!
And what's this about you and a new lady Wombat? Ooh you must tell us!
I agree that the whole dating thing is like a massive sales - especially internet dating.
The thumbnail on a profile listing is like the shop window, and when you click on it you get to see the whole glossy brochure of their profile. Or a tatty dog-eared leaflet, as I'm finding in so many cases.
*sigh*
Internet dating is definitely like selling/marketing yourself. Some people are better at it and/or more subtle than others. I never thought of PUA'a as being burned out cases, but that's very perceptive. Sales versus attraction. Do you think that's because women "use" attraction better--at least traditionally?
My experience with internet dating can be summed up in one word: disaster.
Not sure where some of these ladies were when God passed out the mirrors. When selling yourself on the internet, please take a long look in the mirror and if you see something you don't like, change it.
There is nothing more exasperating than ordering a product based on the description only to get it open and find out they lied to you.
If you once walked by (or had a membership a long long time ago) to a fitness facility...you may not check: Athletic and Toned.
If you can no longer fit into your petite size 2 clothes...you can no longer check: slim or slender
And one really really annoying line is, "I look 10-years younger than my age." WTF? IMHO, you cannot look younger than your age. You look your age. And the other people your age look like they are 10-years older. However, that term may be code for "I wanna be a cougar but am too afraid to say it out loud"
I have learned some secrets young padawan. We need Tequila!!!!
I have no idea what you posted about, Wombat, because I didn't read it at all: that picture captured my imagination. She totally looks like my last college girlfriend! Even down to the cigarette. I know that we took a few trips to beach locales, too. So the question is: how have you been pinching my personal photos?
I am very bad at sales. That may perhaps explain my track record...
I discovered the Society of Pick-Up Artists. And when I did, I became pathologically obsessed with "game". I have learned secrets on getting into the game to win women of choice!
Ah, sorry to mislead you Snaf. I did indeed give the impression that I'd be plucked from the crowd by women recently, but in fact I meant "...most recent."
Nope. No news on the lady companion front.
Interesting that Mystery is one of the dudes selling PUA packages.
Agreed, NoLove. Always best to put one's best aura out there.
Nicely put, Fawkes. Excellent.
HAHAHAHAHA Kate. "...tatty dog-eared leaflet..."
Love it
Yes, Miss Jones. I do think women have traditionally done the 'attraction' part better and more than men. But that was then. The rules have been altered.
Your secrets were fantastic, Mr Nights. They're like a direct USB link to the female brain....about which I'll have to write some things here.
Ah, but sales can be learned, Mary Jane. Perhaps I can help. I am, after all, a Passion Consultant now.
Pardon my confusion, but does not being a Christian somewhat modify one's way of approaching women? PUA life seems at odds with the Christian ethic.
Oh, and to Martian: No! I haven't been stealing your pics! But it's kind of funny that I chose that one, agreed.
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