Twenty Questions

I keep discovering that if you're going to be the kind of person who asks questions about strangers' private lives, it's best to have a ninja approach to the matter.

For example, from Sunday:

Me: Hello, my name's Wombat.

Middle-Aged Woman: Hello, I'm Liz.

Me: So you and Ray are a couple? (Motioning to man standing next to her.)

MAW: (Slight hesitation.) We're married, but separated.

Me: But you look so cute together. (Lying through my teeth)

MAW: (Looking at Ray, standing at her side smiling like a goof) It's complicated.

At which point she launched into a surprisingly detailed description of why their three-year old marriage slumped to its current state of them being cocktail companions, but neither sexual nor domestic partners.

Two points:

1. Age does not give people wisdom.

2. If you're going to ask personal questions, just launch into it. They're dying to tell you.




Bottoms Up Non-Sexual Married Couples!



Photo of Hayley Tamaddon pic from here [link]

First Date Filtering - Wombatgram #12

For a better Wombatgram view, click to enlarge.




Bottoms Up, Filterers!

Friday Fluffer - Walk of Shame

The concept of the morning after Walk of Shame smells fishy to me. Fishy in the sense that it's outmoded, what with the rise of the sexually aggressive woman and the modern You Go Girl! attitude to life.

What is shameful about walking home in clothes you wore from the night before with a freshly fucked look on your face?

Guys suffer not from this.

In any case, for those of you (ladies) preparing for every outcome, you might like: The Walk of Shame Kit [link] <------Link Safe for Work.

My favourite element is the Call/Don’t Call leave behind note card. Nice touch.




Pic of Essex Ladette walking the walk of shame from here [link]

When is she my girlfriend?

We lack for accurate descriptors when it comes to romantic attachments.

A vast yawning chasm exists between meeting and marriage, a vast yawning chasm chock full of emotion, imagination, miscommunication, good communication, veiled motives, expressed desires, hidden agendas, agendas right out in the open, fear, love, hate, texts, phone calls, emails, dinners, breakfasts, appointments, missed appointments, disappointments, misunderstandings, understandings, mistakes, nights, days, sleeps and exhaustion.

Hmmm. I think I just described male/female relationships.

Q: What do we call someone in whom we're interested, after the first signs of mutual interest?

A: My potential lady interest.

Q: How about between first make-out and first formal date?

A: My impending woman.

Q: And in the area between arranged date and assumed date?

A: (Unsure) My putative squeeze.

Q: Okay, between assumed date and home base?

A: (Resoundingly) Now that's when I can call her my girlfriend!

Q: Between first sex and sophomore sex?

A: God, I hope she wants to do it again.




Bottoms Up, New Lovers!




Emilie Autumn photo from here [link]

Club Sandwich v BLT

Facts are facts: A Club Sandwich is not the same as a BLT, no matter what misapprehension I have clung to all these years. (The Club is the most ordered item from hotel room-service menus, BTW.)

What was I thinking? They are fundamentally different. Clubs have three slices of bread, BLTs only two. BLTs have only three ingredients - all right there in the name - whereas Clubs are...wait, I am checking out the recipes...actually perhaps I was right all along.

Yes! A Club is in fact a BLT plus another slice of bread with additional turkey or chicken filling. The Club Sandwich is simply a BLT with more layers.

So if the BLT is a regular kind of sandwich, that makes the Club the Threesome of sandwiches.

Nice.


Bottoms Up, Those Lucky Enough to Find Themselves in a Club!






Legs from here [link]