Monday, May 09, 2011

Overthinking: Engaging the Complication Cicuitry

Wouldn't it be sweet if life was a simple progression from certainty to certainty? If at every point requiring a decision, we had a Wombatproof method by which we could choose the right path, time after time?

I say Wombatproof because I have an impeccable record of, at forks in the road, leaving the paved superhighway behind. Instead I battle on with the steep and rocky path strewn with monsters and zombies and mantraps with pointed sticks at the bottom. Very pointy sticks. The impression I have is that everyone else is able to choose the better way on more than a random basis, but what do I know? - I'm a notoriously bad judge of character.

Changing the way I approach forks in the road is a slow business. Especially with respect to ladies, a clear-cut way to move forward can be difficult to find. One could trust one's gut, of course, but clarity of communication isn't Gut's forte. When Mind gets involved, it's like the whole rest of the world gets to have an input - there's so MUCH information that can be pretzeled into a decision.

It's like there's a whole department of the brain specifically designed to complicate even the most simple thing. For instance: Should I call her back now or later? Is it too soon? Will she think me too keen? Too needy? Not needy enough?

Exhausting, isn't it. In writing this, the answer becomes clear, but I'd still like some way to disengage the Complication Circuitry. All is does is send me around in circles.





Bottoms Up, Over-Thinkers.


wombat@kissnblog.com

Friday, May 06, 2011

Friday Fluffer - A Tribute to Lady Jockeys



In Louisville, Kentucky, they're already mixing the mint juleps. Ladies are at the salon pouffing their hair. Men are checking the form. Yes, the Kentucky Derby is this weekend, a celebration of fancy hats, fantabulation and failed bets.

If you think the only flesh celebrated at racetracks is equine, think again. A small(!) but sexy group of women jockeys purge and puke right along with the guys. Today, we celebrate one of them, Kirsty Milczarek, shown here in racing silks.




Bottoms Up, Hayriders.

wombat@kissnblog.com

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Submission: Do Women See It That Way?


Part of the fun of spending a whole bunch of time thinking about sex and stuff is that I can ruminate without guilt on the following:

Given that sex involves men inserting themselves into women, is this a natural act of dominance?

Does this automatically mean that women are submissive?

If sex is the natural act of an aggressor working his way through the defences of his prey, does that necessarily mean that the man has more power?

Can the power in a submissive/dominant relationship actually tilt in favour of the submissive?


A concept with which I have some familiarity is "...leading from behind." It's the deconstruction of the famous saw that "...behind every great man there is a great woman."


The real question is whether she's fucking him from behind.





Bottoms Up, Strap-Ons.


wombat@kissnblog.com

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Fuck-Me Boots: A More Practical Collection



Women love shoes, and men do too, and women know that sexy shoes give we dudes boners. If you're a woman and you want attention, you put on your Fuck-Me pumps.

Let's take this one step further. If cute lady-feet in hot shoes leads to bumping nasties, we horny folks should exhibit responsibility and use protection. What better place to keep prophylactics than on the actual shoes? That's the idea behind my new collection of shoes. Easy access will hopefully = more bonking.

Take the Wombat Louboutins, above. Not only are they extra-sexy, they come complete with one Trojan per foot, good enough for most one-night stands. (One for the night, one for the morning.)

Here's my version of the Nine West kitten-heeled peep-toe mule.






Features to note are the multiple, shag-ready condoms in a floral motif. High heels are hot, but the kitten-heel is often overlooked. It's the sexy girl-next-door look. For the less confident man, (read: shorter) women so attired are more easily approached.

And for the ultimate in rawwwrrrrr, my Knockoff Jimmy Choo gladiators. Note the condom straps integral to the construction of the shoe. Importantly, they are all of different sizes and ribbing, allowing loads of flexibility for the really active woman.







Bottoms Up, Fiery Babes.


wombat@kissnblog.com

Monday, May 02, 2011

Wombatgram #19 - Royal Life-Cycle



The Royal Life-Cycle, which is similar to the way the rest of us go about it.

Click on Wombatgram to see the gruesome details.





Bottoms Up, Monarchists.