Crazy Motherfucking Bitch
There is no pleasing this woman.* She looks at you and observes potential unfulfilled, possibilities unattained. There's no way around it - she sees you as a compromise, a worthy non-profit cause goofy enough to love, not smart enough to admire. We muddle through, chatting up an acceptance storm, nibbling on settling-brand cheese, drinking best-I-can-get wine. Who cares, it's approximately where everyone else is at, right?
It's a downer scenario. There are plenty around like it; indeed, I've been in at least one affair like this. But I'd like to offer some optimism. There is hope if we recognize the following:
1. Love is waking up every morning wanting nothing more than to make the other person's day better.
The difference between dalliance and to-die-for is motivation.
*Obviously I am not impugning the fetching Miss W, shown. She's a paragon of selflessness.
Bottoms Up, Upward Managers.
9 comments:
Wow, how awful: depressing for everyone involved. No 2 people should be in such a dysfunctional relationship (though plenty are). I also think the difference between dalliance and to-die-for may be more along the lines of chemistry and fit than motivation.
I hate the "b" word, because I think it's such a scapegoat. If 2 people are in a relationship, and one starts totally slacking (say, quitting work, gaining weight, not wanting to go out anymore), and the other person complains about it, what do we think about the person who wants the other to shape up? Is she a bitch if she's a woman? What is he if he's a man (an angel for not leaving or cheating on her?)?
For men, Singli, it's bastard. FYI. a painful word for us men. We may not show it, but it's synonymous to bitch. We even have Son-of-a-bitch to live with too. Both are terribly derogatory to our mother and her personality or promiscuity.
Wombie, take heart in knowing the 'pageant' female is probably the most insecure person you will ever date. They're trained not to show it, however, they are so desirous of the attention they will go to such length as parading around on stage in a bikini in order to be perceived as the best. Use that to your advantage. Give her compliments that are steeped in bringing our her insecurity. Such as: 'I love what you did with your hair(or makeup or eyebrows), it totally takes away from what's going on with your chin, (or whatever)'
If you wake up every morning wanting nothing more than to make the other person's day better...you might be co-dependent. If we're talking about sex...what are you waiting for? Make his/her day better now!
Mr. N, interesting that both of those insults actually insult a woman. And is the implication the same? I think "bastard" means cruel/uncaring (as in "cold-hearted bastard") while "bitch" means "demanding/whiny" or some such. Men aren't as easily subject to epithets for that behavior, I think.
You're being sarcastic about being intentionally cruel to an insecure date, right?
"Love is waking up every morning wanting to make the other person's day better." Yes, that is EXACTLY what love it. Doing what you can to make THEM happy, should, in turn, make YOU happy.
Singli, yes to the sarcastic, i was having fun. And yes, the words bitch and bastard both ultimately reference women. We are all born of women.
One thing women do to hurt men is usually proclaim loudly that a particular man has a small dick. That's probably as close as I can come to knowing how you must feel when someone calls you a bitch.
There is one word that is a relationship killer. If a man is in an argument with a woman and calls her a c***, it's over. Plan on walking out with just the clothes on your back 'cause it's over!
What happens if you wake every day with the goal to make this other person happy, and they don't appreciate it, treat it with contempt or even worse ambivalence?
Any woman who complains to a man that he has a small dick deserves to be called flat-chested! I don't understand how people can be intentionally cruel. What's the point? Either he satisfies you or he doesn't, and if he doesn't, leave him kindly.
As for "What happens if you wake every day with the goal to make this other person happy, and they don't appreciate it, treat it with contempt or even worse ambivalence?" Unfortunately, you can't make someone love you. I think that calls for asking for change, and if it's not forthcoming, being strong enough to leave, kindly.
Yeah, those personal jibes just ain't playin' fair. Sadly LOTS of people indulge in them, which contravenes the Wombat Relationship Convention, which says in part that discussions should always be high-minded and search only for truth and clarity.
Agreement is a bonus.
Seems clear to me: if my best intentions and actions are met with anything other than appreciation (and even reciprocation) it's not love, it's not right and it's not a relationship. Time to go.
Hear, hear.
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